


The right choice

by VenezuelanWriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 14, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-03 22:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenezuelanWriter/pseuds/VenezuelanWriter
Summary: Saving Sam or saving Cas. There's no right choice, not for Dean.





	The right choice

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by [IrrationallyExcited](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrrationallyExcited/pseuds/IrrationallyExcited) <3\. Thank you again!!

Saving Sam or saving Cas. There’s no right choice, not for Dean.

How is he supposed to choose between his own brother, —his blood, the person he’d promised to protect, the one that had kept him sane so many times before and that never gave up on him— and Cas? Cas, who’s family too, despite not sharing their blood. An angel who had died for Sam and Dean already, who they owe their lives to and that Dean has loved in silence as more than a friend for years now.

Dean’s torso is bruised, beaten and bleeding after Michael’s attack. The wounds are loud and swelling, as chains around his whole body keep him tied to one of the small chapel’s pillars.

In front of Dean, Michael stands, wearing a dark-skinned female meatsuit. At his feet, Sam and Cas are kneeling, just as hurt (if not worse) as Dean himself. 

“Clock’s ticking, Winchester,” Michael says. “And if you refuse to decide, I’ll kill them both and it will be your fault.”

Michael’s hands turn into fists and it looks like he’s twisting Sam and Cas’ insides, as they wince in pain.

“I can’t,” Dean says, his voice trembling. He’s on the verge of tears. “I won’t.”

“Oh,” Michael’s nonchalant, “they’re both going to die, then?”

His fists wrench in the air, making Sam and Cas give ragged and despaired screams of pain.

“No!” Dean howls, pulling forwards but failing once more in his attempt to move.

“I’ll ask once more,” Michael says, in his cynical characteristic tone, “Who do you want to save? Who do love the least, Dean?”

“Save Sam,” Cas whispers. He meets eyes with Dean, then continues. “Kill me, Dean. I’m at peace with myself and with you. My purpose was to protect you and Sam and I’ve fulfilled it.”

Dean shakes his head, tears slipping down his face.

“Cas…”

“Dean,” Sam drags out, “it’s alright. I know.” He’s struggling to speak, but continues, “I know you and Cas —you two can be happy together, man, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I’ll wait for you in Heaven and —it’s alright, Dean, I swear. You’re the best big brother anyone could’ve asked for.”

Dean, although Michael isn’t playing with his organs, feels his gut twist and tense at the words.

“Sammy, you—” 

He swallows down anything he could think of saying. His tongue is tied at the end of his windpipe; he can’t even bother to comment on what Sam said about his and Cas’ relationship. Actually, the fact that Sam knows only makes Dean feel stupid for not having acted on his feelings before.

Maybe he won’t have the chance now, either. See, Dean can’t live without Sam. They’ve tried before, and it never turned out fine. Cas is just as fundamental for Dean, but maybe he could try to remember how things were way back, before any angel ever got into their lives.

The decision he’s making is a selfish one; if Sam died, he’d go to Heaven, to live forever within happy memories. If it was Cas, he’d be sent to the Empty for the rest of eternity. Unless, of course, Dean and Sam went for him.

Which they could and  _ would  _ do, because Dean has no idea of how to live again without his brother. And if he gets a choice, he’s going to keep on choosing Sam.

“Listen to me, you both,” Dean whispers, low but firmly. “I love you, so much.” His eyelids slide closed and tears roll down his cheeks. “And Cas, you— you’re the best thing that the hunting life ever gave me. I love you and,” he swallows around the lump in his throat, “I’m so sorry I don’t say it enough.”

“I’ll admit,” Michael says, “this is somewhat fun, you spitting your love for these two and struggling to make a call. But I’ve got a world to conquer and if you don’t make a decision soon-”

“Sam,” Dean cuts him. “I’ll save Sam.”

“I love you, Dean,” Cas then replies, with a stern voice. “And I forgive you.”

“Dean, stay with Cas, for God’s sake-” Sam protests.

“No worries,” Michael says, “he will.”

“What?!” Dean calls out. 

Michael stops constricting and manipulating Cas’ body, making him drop to the floor, no longer kneeling. 

“Sammy!”

But it’s too late: Sam gives a ripped scream as one of Michael’s hands places on top of his head, and Dean sees his little brother’s body going out in flames like a ghost’s whose bones are being salted and burned.

“No!”

“Now,”  Michael says.

“You bastard-”

“I hope you value yourself, Castiel. See? He loves you, but never as much as he loves his brother. Enjoy your time together, if you may, I’m sure it won’t be much until I end this whole universe.”

Dean hears wings flapping and Michael vanishes.

Cas starts crawling towards Dean.

“Cas,” Dean murmurs. He’s crying a river of tears, but he can’t help it. “Sammy’s gone and… and I would’ve looked for you. You know I wouldn’t just leave you-”

“Dean,” Cas says softly. He stands up with difficulty. He cups Dean’s face in his hands. “Dean, I know. I know.”

His hands go to the chains around Dean’s body. Castiel closes his eyes, forcing grace out through his palms. Dean stays silent, letting Cas focus for the good ten or fifteen seconds that take him loosening the chains.

Dean shakes his body so the chains fall to his feet. He stumbles out of them, wrapping his arms tightly around Cas the second he can.

“Fuck, Cas, what are we gonna do?” He asks, supporting his chin on Cas’ shoulder.

“We’ll save the world-”

“Again-”

“Yes, again. And we’ll go for Sam. See what’s best and do it. I promise.”

Dean sniffles against Cas’ neck, then steps back and looks into his eyes. The adrenaline peaks, Sam being gone, the fact that he’d consciously decided to terminate Cas’ life just a few moments ago— it hits Dean and it hits him hard. The only thing he can think of doing, the one reaction that Dean hopes takes some of it off his chest, is kissing Cas.

So he does, not fearing rejection or failure altogether for once in his life: he leans in and crushes their lips together. It’s sudden and rushed at first, but when Cas catches up and strokes his back, Dean allows himself to relax and savor it a little more.

Dean rests a hand on Cas’ jaw and gently pulls back. 

“In case the world ends like, anytime soon.” His tone is casual, as if what he just said isn’t an actual possibility. 

Cas only nods, offering a weak smile.

They stay like that for a moment, and Dean thinks.

Maybe Sam will settle in Heaven, meet with their Dad, and Bobby, and Kevin, and Charlie, and Ellen and Jo, and Pamela… and maybe Dean will find a way to visit him and maybe his little brother will be happy. 

There was no right choice, but maybe Dean made the least wrong one. 

**Author's Note:**

> you can come yell at me for this angsty fic at @marian-elisa on tumblr :)


End file.
